I know I haven't updated in ages. I had been on the pill in July, the results weren't in yet and I had to go on the pill for another cycle in August.
The nurse should have known there would have been no way possible for us to be able to do the IUI on Aug 2. I was getting the run around from my clinic again about a "missing test." It turned out the test wasn't really missing at all, he tested reactive to Hep C and they have to test his blood further to see if he actually has it or not. He had many, many blood transfusions in the late 1990s and they figure he could have gotten it that way since he's never been an IVF drug user. He does have a tattoo, but it was from a reputable place.
So, he has a 75% chance of having Hep C and 25% chance he managed to beat it himself. I'm really worried. If he has it, the treatment can be either 6 months or 12 months, depending on the genotype. We will find out in a few weeks. In the meantime, I was told to stop the pill and call back in 6 weeks.
So, I have about a 3% chance of getting Hep C, but mainly if we share razors, toothbrushes, nail clippers. It's not sexually transmitted unless we are both bleeding or doing high risk behavior. We don't do IVF drugs, so I am trying not to worry too much while we wait. I tested negative.
The crazy news is that his family doctor tested his testosterone in June and he just called for the results. His testosterone is normal. Low-normal, but within normal range. I have no idea what this means.
His testosterone was 12.4 (range is 10-52).
It was 4.2 in February.
They also tested his bio available testosterone and it was 3.8 (normal
is 2-14). So while he his still on the low end, they really are normal
now.
I rolled my eyes when he first said that it was normal, but when he called back for numbers, I can't believe it. Now I am letting it creep in my head that he may have sperm in there somewhere. Wishful thinking, I am sure, but it sure raises a million more questions.
Monday, August 13, 2012
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Wrench thrown into our plans
I love my MIL. She is sweet, we get along really well and she had never
made me feel awkward while talking about infertilty. She had
struggled to have her children, she adopted DH's sister and it took her
10 years between having DH and his brother. I think she lost 7 babies.
She is Catholic and believes in miracles in IF because she was able to
eventually stay pregnant.
We found out in December that DH is sterile. He had no sperm in his SA. Not even a dead one. It took her awhile to process it and kept going to the "it only takes one!" line. DH would get upset and explain that he doesn't even have one to use for ICSI.
We went through all of the testing and found out he is in andropause. Testicular failure. He could have had some sperm found in a biopsy, but our odds were something like 35-45%. He ruled out mTESE and his parents were in full agreement that it was too much risk/money for such low results.
We talked to them about donor sperm and they were really on board about it. They compared it to a half adoption and were very excited. DH could finally move ahead, knowing they were 100% supportive of us using a donor.
Fast forward to today. She had BIL leave DH a voicemail with a Bible verse to read. It was about asking and you shall receive. She gave him a Father's Day card (he's raising my son from another relationship) and gave him two other verses about miracles. She has said that she "just knows" we will conceive naturally. With her saying that today, DH is now in a panic, thinking she may not be on board with us using a donor and he has shut down on me.
He went as far this evening, while upset, to say that he doesn't know what he wants. Because of what his mom is thinking, he may not really have her on board with all of that. (WTF? Why didn't he tell me that before?) I was really, really hurt. I feel like he finally accepted it and I totally believed him. How can he do this and then take it back again? I've been on the stupid pill for 2+ weeks. I've had headaches, breakthrough bleeding and feel nauseous about 50% of the time. I have asked him 3240234 times if he is sure. I talked to him about my fears just this week and he was really reassuring. Even when we found out today that we need to replace his old car, he told me he didn't want to put the IUI on hold.
I know he processes things in the most annoying way. Once he calms down, he will be more rational and talk it all out again. He shuts down and I push him to talk because I need to talk things through. But I am really hurt and I think this will take a lot of talking to work past.
I can't get over how this can happen. I am so upset with him right now. He has the right to change his mind, but it pisses me off that he did this when I trusted him. I'm setting this to be posted in 2 weeks. Things better have improved by then.
We found out in December that DH is sterile. He had no sperm in his SA. Not even a dead one. It took her awhile to process it and kept going to the "it only takes one!" line. DH would get upset and explain that he doesn't even have one to use for ICSI.
We went through all of the testing and found out he is in andropause. Testicular failure. He could have had some sperm found in a biopsy, but our odds were something like 35-45%. He ruled out mTESE and his parents were in full agreement that it was too much risk/money for such low results.
We talked to them about donor sperm and they were really on board about it. They compared it to a half adoption and were very excited. DH could finally move ahead, knowing they were 100% supportive of us using a donor.
Fast forward to today. She had BIL leave DH a voicemail with a Bible verse to read. It was about asking and you shall receive. She gave him a Father's Day card (he's raising my son from another relationship) and gave him two other verses about miracles. She has said that she "just knows" we will conceive naturally. With her saying that today, DH is now in a panic, thinking she may not be on board with us using a donor and he has shut down on me.
He went as far this evening, while upset, to say that he doesn't know what he wants. Because of what his mom is thinking, he may not really have her on board with all of that. (WTF? Why didn't he tell me that before?) I was really, really hurt. I feel like he finally accepted it and I totally believed him. How can he do this and then take it back again? I've been on the stupid pill for 2+ weeks. I've had headaches, breakthrough bleeding and feel nauseous about 50% of the time. I have asked him 3240234 times if he is sure. I talked to him about my fears just this week and he was really reassuring. Even when we found out today that we need to replace his old car, he told me he didn't want to put the IUI on hold.
I know he processes things in the most annoying way. Once he calms down, he will be more rational and talk it all out again. He shuts down and I push him to talk because I need to talk things through. But I am really hurt and I think this will take a lot of talking to work past.
I can't get over how this can happen. I am so upset with him right now. He has the right to change his mind, but it pisses me off that he did this when I trusted him. I'm setting this to be posted in 2 weeks. Things better have improved by then.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
I haven't updated in a long time
Thanks to someone commenting on my last post, I was reminded of my blog. So much has happened since we saw the urologist.
We ended up going back to see the urologist about a week and a half after seeing him the first time to have him really talk to us about our odds and the low testosterone. He was fanstastic to us...he spent over 30 minutes talking to us about what the mTESE looked like, how our odds looked, recovery, and what testosterone treatment would look like in DH's future.
We left the appointment feeling confident that mTESE was not in the cards for us. We weren't even out of the building when we decided the surgery had too low of odds and too much of a risk for complications. With his surgeries in the past, we felt like he had been through enough medically.
We saw the head guy at the fertility clinic at the end of June. He explained that I also have high LH and would have had a higher miscarriage rate had we gotten pregnant naturally. I am on the birth control pill for a month to suppress my cycle and then will do clomid, 100mg for 5 days and then a trigger shot at around cd11. That could happen at the end of July. We are trying to find a donor with the banks we have looked at and have it down to two European donors. It's hard not seeing adult pictures of the donors, it it may be a good thing in the long run so we aren't searching for those features in our child.
I need to call my clinic today with my questions so I can move on and get a donor picked. I can't believe we are finally moving ahead with this!
We ended up going back to see the urologist about a week and a half after seeing him the first time to have him really talk to us about our odds and the low testosterone. He was fanstastic to us...he spent over 30 minutes talking to us about what the mTESE looked like, how our odds looked, recovery, and what testosterone treatment would look like in DH's future.
We left the appointment feeling confident that mTESE was not in the cards for us. We weren't even out of the building when we decided the surgery had too low of odds and too much of a risk for complications. With his surgeries in the past, we felt like he had been through enough medically.
We saw the head guy at the fertility clinic at the end of June. He explained that I also have high LH and would have had a higher miscarriage rate had we gotten pregnant naturally. I am on the birth control pill for a month to suppress my cycle and then will do clomid, 100mg for 5 days and then a trigger shot at around cd11. That could happen at the end of July. We are trying to find a donor with the banks we have looked at and have it down to two European donors. It's hard not seeing adult pictures of the donors, it it may be a good thing in the long run so we aren't searching for those features in our child.
I need to call my clinic today with my questions so I can move on and get a donor picked. I can't believe we are finally moving ahead with this!
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Finally saw the urologist
It wasn't good. What I had diagnosed DH with months ago became a reality today. He has NOA. Non-obstructive azoospermia. Probably caused by testicular failure/hypogonadism/andropause.
It could have been caused from all of his surgeries he had when he was in his car accident in 1998. The doctor felt that those surgeries, plus the septicemia could have done it. We'll never know for sure.
So, he talked to him about his health history. Went over the info he already had. He was surprised that I knew so much about it. He told us we could do TESA with a needle and randomly look for sperm over and over for $1500 or they could crack his nuts open and cost $4000+ for a 35-45% chance of finding some.
He then examined DH. The first time he was just check the size of his testicles. They were slightly low volume but not "bad". I sent the doctor back to check his epiditymis (sp?) to see if he could feel them. I had read that if they were flat, we had no chance. He thought the left side was a bit bigger than the right, but not full of sperm like if he had a blockage.
I asked if he could take clomid. He was quick to brush me off saying it only works for people with low sperm counts, not azoo. I knew better from my azoo websites. He said we would deal with the low T later, after the infertility stuff is decided. He didn't even really sound like we could go back to him again. At one point in the conversation, he sounded like we could try it if we wanted, but then kind of went back on it.
TESA is a 20%. Then from there, a 50% chance of successful IVF. So, does that give us about a 10% chance of a baby with $16k down the toilet if it doesn't work. I really can't handle the idea of paying hundreds of dollars a month on the line of credit to remind myself of heartbreak.
It makes me feel like I could throw up. I feel like the day we found out he had azoospermia. Why us?
It could have been caused from all of his surgeries he had when he was in his car accident in 1998. The doctor felt that those surgeries, plus the septicemia could have done it. We'll never know for sure.
So, he talked to him about his health history. Went over the info he already had. He was surprised that I knew so much about it. He told us we could do TESA with a needle and randomly look for sperm over and over for $1500 or they could crack his nuts open and cost $4000+ for a 35-45% chance of finding some.
He then examined DH. The first time he was just check the size of his testicles. They were slightly low volume but not "bad". I sent the doctor back to check his epiditymis (sp?) to see if he could feel them. I had read that if they were flat, we had no chance. He thought the left side was a bit bigger than the right, but not full of sperm like if he had a blockage.
I asked if he could take clomid. He was quick to brush me off saying it only works for people with low sperm counts, not azoo. I knew better from my azoo websites. He said we would deal with the low T later, after the infertility stuff is decided. He didn't even really sound like we could go back to him again. At one point in the conversation, he sounded like we could try it if we wanted, but then kind of went back on it.
TESA is a 20%. Then from there, a 50% chance of successful IVF. So, does that give us about a 10% chance of a baby with $16k down the toilet if it doesn't work. I really can't handle the idea of paying hundreds of dollars a month on the line of credit to remind myself of heartbreak.
It makes me feel like I could throw up. I feel like the day we found out he had azoospermia. Why us?
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Looking at full donor profiles today
A girl on one of my infertility sites is using donor sperm to conceive her baby. She and her husband are just about to get started with their first cycle. I'm really excited for her and cannot wait to see her get a BFP. She had offered up her username and password to one of the sperm banks I am eligible to use, so I logged in tonight.
What a reality check. The ones we liked on paper were not what we expected to see in pictures. I ruled every one of them out just by looks. DH totally freaked out and now thinks that using a donor is way too weird and not for him.
Our urology appointment was supposed to be tomorrow. The clinic had to postpone it by a week. Please let there be hope for DH to have sperm.
What a reality check. The ones we liked on paper were not what we expected to see in pictures. I ruled every one of them out just by looks. DH totally freaked out and now thinks that using a donor is way too weird and not for him.
Our urology appointment was supposed to be tomorrow. The clinic had to postpone it by a week. Please let there be hope for DH to have sperm.
Monday, May 7, 2012
AHHHHH!!! Urology appointment needs to be rescheduled
I got home to a voicemail saying that DH's appointment needs to be rescheduled. I didn't get it on time to talk to them today. We have been waiting for over 5 months to see the urologist and I am so upset.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
More news
I called the RE's office last night and asked them to call me this morning since I was off for the morning. I had asked when they would sit down and look at everything and if the doctor needed to see me about my results.
She called me back and booked us for June 27th! She did have us in for the 22nd, but since that's my last day of school, I couldn't do it. As hard as it is to wait 5 more days, I know those won't make much of a difference. Dr. R will look over Dr. B's notes from seeing DH and we will find out if we can proceed with IVF or if we don't have a shot at conceiving with DH's DNA. I told the nurse my fears and she really couldn't give me information about the urology side of things.
I asked about my bloodwork and my prolactin was NORMAL! My FSH was NORMAL! (Not sure why the other nurse said it was slightly high.) I was taking 8,000IU of vitamin D and she told me it should have been 800IU. I know I double checked the amount before hanging up last time. Not sure what's up with that?
I asked her how soon we could realistically be looking at IVF or IUI. She said late summer, like the end of August. They would do more testing on me over summer and then we could get started. Wow!!
I still have a fear that they will want to treat his low testosterone for 3 months before doing the biopsy, but we will know in two weeks.
The ball is rolling!
She called me back and booked us for June 27th! She did have us in for the 22nd, but since that's my last day of school, I couldn't do it. As hard as it is to wait 5 more days, I know those won't make much of a difference. Dr. R will look over Dr. B's notes from seeing DH and we will find out if we can proceed with IVF or if we don't have a shot at conceiving with DH's DNA. I told the nurse my fears and she really couldn't give me information about the urology side of things.
I asked about my bloodwork and my prolactin was NORMAL! My FSH was NORMAL! (Not sure why the other nurse said it was slightly high.) I was taking 8,000IU of vitamin D and she told me it should have been 800IU. I know I double checked the amount before hanging up last time. Not sure what's up with that?
I asked her how soon we could realistically be looking at IVF or IUI. She said late summer, like the end of August. They would do more testing on me over summer and then we could get started. Wow!!
I still have a fear that they will want to treat his low testosterone for 3 months before doing the biopsy, but we will know in two weeks.
The ball is rolling!
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